Friday, May 9, 2008

Finding Perspective

It is May in the public schools. I am in the thick of concerts, grades are due, seniors are leaving, field trip pull outs are happening every other day, teachers are using up their sick days, and administrators are suspending kids left and right. I thought things were going well but I kind of hit a cement wall today. It has been a down right cruddy day. A day that no one deserves to live over. So, it only seems right to forget about that "urgent stuff" (that ends up irritating me) and take some time to reflect on the really important stuff.

This year has been an extremely fulfilling year in my teaching career. To coin a song from Wicked, "I have been changed for good." I think a few of the things for which I am thankful and would like to share them with you. This week has been filled with "lists" in my posts and I guess tonight's reflection is no different.

1. Three weeks ago I received a sealed envelope in my mailbox with my name typed on it. I dreaded opening it because I am always afraid around this time of year that I will be laid off. And this letter had all the markings of that. (BTW, that has never happened....yet). I opened the envelope in the privacy of my office (in case I needed to cry) and it was a letter from a student telling me that I was her favorite teacher. She doesn't say much in class but those few paragraphs spoke volumes about her and how she perceived me. It was a great letter and I will keep it...forever. And I did cry. But it was for all the right reasons.

2. My choir program finally feels like my own. I am rather new at this high school choir directorship thing. I am not as organized as I would like to be but I am steadily getting better at achieving consistent vocal quality within my groups. I listened to my choir's "festival" recording from my first year here a couple of weeks back. It was REALLY horrible. I mean drop-your-jaw-and-try-not-to-gasp horrible. Each year I focus on something different.....last year was sight reading; this year was vocal production/vowel formation. I can't seem to teach everything in one year. None the less, the groups are steadily getting better. It is very encouraging.

3. Sometimes in your teaching career, I have been told, every once in a while you come across a student that understands you and takes a real interest in things that are important to you. I never had that experience because maybe I am too task oriented to really take time to get to know people, or maybe I just wasn't in one place long enough to develop any bonds. But this year I have a student who can predict what needs to be done and then will take over when needed and get the job finished. She is a natural teacher (although she would fight that to the bitter end), extremely respected by her peers, and has a passion to always push people to do their best on the stage. She is a senior. And I don't think there will be "replacement" for her for a very long time.

4. I have a really great bunch of kids who eat lunch with me everyday. A few months ago I gave up eating in the teacher's lounge. It was a place that you could sit around a giant table (ok, it was four rectangular tables pushed together) and talk....or so I thought! I started to listen to the conversations and noticed the same underlying themes everyday. Those themes included TV show synopsis stuff, drinking, parties, sports and dirty jokes. After I realized that there was not one single thing on that list that I enjoy talking or even thinking about, I decided to quit the lunch lounge and start a club of my own. I started eating in my office and pretty soon two or three students started "hanging out" and eating with me. We soon added a few more and now I have 5 students who eat with me everyday. Every single day. They don't go to the lunchroom-ever. I am good with this....it is much more enjoyable conversation and it keeps me connected to the "teenage psyche" which I will never quite figure out.

I am going to try to focus on the positive things that are all around me so that I can survive my 17th time of "MAY" in the public schools and hopefully be able to start my summer vacation on a good note.

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